Young Professional Seeks Shitty, Expensive Room.

About a year ago, I was faced with finding a replacement renter for the room I was occupying on Powers Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. This wasn't hip Williamsburg; Powers at Graham Avenue was Italian to the bone and rumored to have a sizable mafia presence. After all, this was the neighborhood portrayed in Donnie Brasco where the Bonanno crime family achieved infamy in the early 70's.

The room cost $1,000/month and was in a free-standing former auto garage (a.k.a. loft), accessible by a monstrous roll-up door. The interior was dark and dirty. The furniture was dilapidated and matted with food and bong-water stains. There was no bathroom, only an enclosed toilet and a separate shower whose moldy curtain opened directly to the kitchen. The kitchen was unique in that it was the only room in the whole building with a window. My room was made of sonically-transparent Sheetrock partition walls.

There were three other roommates, all guys in their early 30's: a grade school teacher, a social worker and a graphic designer. The latter was obsessed with KISS. He had KISS comic books, KISS fridge magnets, an elaborate toy KISS music stage with poseable KISS action figures, etc.

My first night in the loft I took my dog out for a walk and on the way out of the apartment, I passed through the "living room" (the old automotive service bay) where the KISS roommate was on one of the stained couches watching a Japanese KISS concert DVD with a large pizza to himself. I went for a rather long walk and ended up spending an hour or two at Barcade before heading home. When I got back, the KISS roommate was in the same position on the couch, in a cloud of pot smoke, having finished off his pizza, and seemed to be watching the same interminable Ace Frehley guitar solo as when I left.

Oh yeah, and the roommates were all in this weird funk band. And they used to be in this other weird funk band.

Anyway, I posted an ad on Craigslist for my room and received a flurry of responses. In another city, you'd expect only weirdos to get excited about this apartment, and those weirdos probably wouldn't be looking to drop $1,000/month. But, in New York City, here's what I got:

I saw your post on Craigslist. Sounds like a pretty cool place.

I'm a 28 year old straight male. I work at a production company that focuses on stand up comedy for television and live venues, and I'm also a comedy writer. Also involved in making comedy short films, improv, etc., although that has nothing to do with work.

I'm a very laid back, friendly guy, neat, clean, etc.

A little bit more about me:

Favorite Movies: Bottle Rocket, Annie Hall, Sunset Boulevard, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Player, True Romance, Wet Hot American Summer

TV: Real Time with Bill Maher, Daily Show with John Stewart, Colbert Report, The Office, and I loved Arrested Development when it was on.

Books: Fitzgerald, Hunter S. Thompson, Amis, Evelyn Waugh, Douglas Adams

I went to University of Southern California film school and University of Vermont.

So...let me know if you'd like to set up at appointment for me to come by.

More just like this came by the hour...

Hi, I would love to meet you/ see the apartment.
My name is Ryan, I’m 24, and recently moved from Montreal.
I work in Manhattan full time as an event planner. I am creative, outgoing, respectful and clean. Love music (play the guitar), movies, and food (I am an excellent cook!). Overall, an awesome guy to hang out with/ share a common space.

Ryan

xxxx & Company
Luxury Marketing
xx Madison Avenue, 16th Floor
New York, NY 10016

The responses came for days.

I am a 28 yr old female with a small non barking bulldog. I work some days modeling and some nights bartending. This apt sounds really great 4 me so if you are interested in showing your apt please send me an email or giving me a call at 917 xxx 8948-Christie
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Im leaving for virgin islands from 9-13th – could I come and see the space/meet you guys soon? I’m 27, female, like living with guys, love music – day job on 49th and park, starting two companies and love to sing. Laid back. You all sound cool…ok, you can reach me here anytime. Yours, Kristin
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your place sounds fun. My name is Dave. i am 22 years
old. i curently work at a small company that builds
custom bicycles (brooklyn Machine Works). I do well, so making rent
won't be an issue.

i ride my bike everywhere, occasionally on adventures
and sometimes with no hands - to show off. i spend sometime at my
girlfriends place. but am looking for a home of my own. i'm sociable,
neat, and i have a passion for the dishes.

anyways i'd love to see the place some time this week.
i'm available in the evenings during the week and all
day on the weekends.

thanks
david
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Hi,
The place sounds really nice, I would love to check it out if it is
still available. My name is John and I'm a singing/songwriting, painting,
photographer. I'm active and open minded. I have a lot of experience
living with new people and am clean, respectful, considerate, and
responsible. That equals good roommate. Right now I'm pretty focused
on art and paying the rent. I work at a photostudio and am interning in
the photography department at Saturday night live. Please let me know if i
can check out the room. Thanks a lot,

John
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Hi, my name is Michelle. I'm a 25 yo female living in Boston. I went to school here for Graphic Design, and I recently got a job at Saatchi & Saatchi, thus the reason why I'm moving to NY and looking for an apartment.

About me: I'm very laid back, like to work out, go out, but I also work full and part time so I don't expect to be home a lot. Non smoker, straight, looking for a nice apartment and a nice roommate that I can get along with. I'm looking to move in on the first of January, or hopefully a couple of days before. My phone number is 857.xxx.9270.

Let me know if you're interested. Your apartment seems like a good place. Do you have any pictures of the apartment? I'll be in NY on Sunday so hopefully I can come by on Monday to see the room.

I look forward in hearing back from you.
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Hi!
Your apartment sounds great and exactly what I'm lookin for. My name
is Fiona, I'm 25 and irish and I'm a graphic designer for Victoria's
Secret. I've been living in Brooklyn for almost 2 years now but still
haven;t found that place where i can feel settled and really enjoy my
home. I love to cycle, sew, paint, listen to music, take funny
pictures and go to shows with friends.
I'm looking for roomates who are passionate about what they do but
chilled and easy to gel with. I feel like I'm easy to get on with but
if you think I'd fit the bill maybe you can call me to meet up
properly...
Hope to hear from you soon!
Cheers
fi
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Hi,
My name is Ed.

My girlfriend and I are looking for a place to live soon as she starts her job in Jan......

We are both in our mid 20's, musicians, and visual artists. (im the serious musician dabbling in bent/hacked video and shes a professional photographer whos been playing horns since childhood)

We are relaxed, responsible roommates in a !drama-free! relationship with lots of different references to back up these claims.

She just graduated from a fancy liberal arts school (Bard, upstate) and i will be going back to school and working part time (rent covered with the help of financial aid).

We are both busy individuals and will be out alot. any long weekend/break from school ill most likely be touring...(more so after feb.)....

i lived and worked in brooklyn for 3 years before moving into her dorm last fall and then we landed a sweet renovate-4-rent deal....

im a decent carpenter and electrician (not liscenced though)

hopefully we could suspend any aversion to moving two peoples into the room (if there is any) long enough, to actually talk over things as we are flexible people....

I could come by tues (the 5th) in the morning;early afternoon but have to leave for a gig at vassar college later on,,,,,
if that works for y'all so ring us anytime day or night (646) xxx 9661
or just write....

cheers
ed and lea
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Hi there,

My name is Donna and I have just moved out of an apartment just off of Montrose Ave (Scholes St.). I am looking for something in the area as although its not the heart of Manhattan it is very easy to get to the city.

I am 29 and originally from London but moved from San Francisco two months ago where I was working in theater production for 15 months.
I work off of Wall St. for a real estate brokers but have just finished an MA in Arts Management and would like to be a writer. I am due to take a evening writing course in the New Year.

I am really easy to get along with, clean, respectful and love go out and be social at the weekends, especially in the city or in and around Bedford Ave. I work long hours in the week though, so love the idea of a chilled living situation too.

I always have a good relationship with all my roommates - in fact I moved to New York with my former roommate from San Francisco. He lives a few blocks from me and I am staying with him until I find somewhere.

My interests include music, painting, reading, writing. I am also a bit of a gym rat, so love to work out, bike ride, that kind of thing. I love to cook also and usually do a big cook up at least once a week.

Anyway, if you feel I may be what you are looking for please give me a call on 347 xxx 3347 or shoot me an email at this address.

Thanks for your consideration!

Donna
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Hello Nick,

I'm a 26 year old male publicist who currently resides in Williamsburg. I'd be thrilled to come check out the place sometime.

I've lived in New York my entire life. My work deals mainly with books, however I also represent a charity, as well as some music acts. I also love to cook, and I'm rather good at it (pardon the immodesty)

I'm a total news addict, and I tend to read way too many newspapers, magazines, and books. I also have a really big tv.

I'm also very clean, and my bills are always paid on time. I do like to party on the weekends.

I'm looking for house mates that I can hang out with once in a while, have a meal or some drinks with.

I have references.

You can check out my myspace profile if you'd like.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Best,
Peter
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Hi Nick,
I saw your posting on craigslist and I am so excited about your apartment! My best friend and I want to move in to a place together and we were thinking of splitting the room. We both travel a lot so we wouldn't be their all the time. She and I work at a coffee shop, and she and I work opposite shifts so we would rarely be their at the same time.We are both artists and your apartment sounds perfect, I'd love to come see it. We are both really nice and friendly girls and I hope you consider us. Here is my number please feel free to call with any questions.
646-xxx-6287.
All the best,
Aisling

I remember thinking how strange and depressing it was that all these seemingly interesting, fun-loving and successful people weren't able to do better than that rotten $1,000 room. But New York is like that. You sacrifice everything just to be there. That apartment was my best option at the time and I too was thrilled to get into it.