It ain't.

Joblessness is depressing. You can't pay rent and have to ask the landlord to put you on a payment plan. When it's your girlfriend's birthday, all you can afford is a card. And even the money for the card has to come from the change jar.

I spent my last money on a trip to Boston on Monday to meet with an IT recruiter. I knew she didn't have any jobs and that it was basically an informational interview, but I figured I could use a break from lying at home on the couch combing the Internet for jobs.

What I hadn't thought through was that the trip out there would cost me, and not just the four hours in the car. After all the tolls, gas and parking, the trip cost $90. On Sunday, I did some fluke freelance work before my bar-tending job and made $120 in three hours, the same money as three bar shifts. I was excited because I thought it meant I could pay my phone bill. Today my phone was shut off.

Having recently read Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman (recommended by my last therapist), I know that in order to save myself from the flat-spin of depression, I need to monitor my internal monologue . My explanatory style, says the book, determines how my circumstances effect my state of mind.

If I tell myself that I'm still unemployed because nobody wants me, or that I'm worthless because I'm broke, I'm going to start taking a whole lot of naps and getting into fights with strangers down in the town. The book calls those thoughts "permanent, personal and pervasive." Permanent because the attributes (e.g. "worthless") are not changeable, pervasive because the badness bleeds into other aspects of my life (e.g. 'broke = worthless'). Personal because I'm not recognizing other, external, circumstances that could cause my being unemployed (i.e. it's my fault).

Since finishing Learned Optimism, I have struggled to put the theory into practice. When my cat started sneezing, I imagined the other pets getting sick and the inevitable vet bills. When the recruiters didn't call me back or return my emails, I jumped to the conclusion that they were scam artists and that there are no jobs, only phony postings designed to harvest resumes and personal information. At least that's externalizing.

I'm hoping that the bank pays my bad rent check this month. If so, it will leave me $544 in the red, but at least rent will be paid. It will take me six weeks to make $544 at my bar-tending job. This is the kind of situation where credit cards are probably good to have. I can't get one though because my credit is so bad.

When my friends say they're broke, I get the feeling they mean they're cash-poor, but that they ultimately have savings, credit cards and/or relatives to fall back on. I have none of these. I already owe my best friend $1,500 since last year and my dad $500. I owe three years of back taxes to the IRS, $60,000 in student loans, and about $10,000 to a debt management company. My phone, gas and electric are frequently shut off. My girlfriend is sick of bailing me out and I don't blame her. In four months, she'll need to stop working to have the baby. Then it's all up to me.

And I wish my fucking eye would stop twitching.

Posting from Cell Phone.

This is where I spend my Friday and Saturday evenings. Gotta go Google how to make a Martini. In case I get a customer.

Evangelical Free Church: Queens, NY.

CLICK TO VIEW FULL-SIZE SLIDESHOW
I took this series of photos in the summer of 2007 at Community Bible Evangelical Free Church in Richmond Hill, Queens in NYC.

A Scanner Darkly: Part 1.

CLICK TO LISTEN

I've listened to this conversation dozens of times, though I was never intended to be a party to it. While it brings to mind Raymond and Peter, it's a bit more disturbing because, after all, this conflict is between a grown man and his mother.

I intercepted this cordless phone conversation (and many more like it) on a radio scanner while living in a ramshackle apartment building called the The Sherbrooke on the corner of Franklin and Aldrich in Minneapolis' Wedge neighborhood. I didn't just happen upon these phone calls; I actively programmed the the cordless telephone frequencies into my scanner and routinely trolled them while relaxing with a beer or two after work.

Let me set this up for you: the guy, Matthew, is around 40 at the time (year 2000), a pale, fat schlub who drives a shitty red pickup truck and sets up folding chairs at the Convention Center for a living. He lives in a ground floor apartment in the roach-infested Sherbrooke with his heroin-addled girlfriend, Kathy. Matthew has just returned from the hospital where he has been recovering from a heart attack.

While Matthew was in the hospital, I heard Kathy on the phone many times. She was doing what any lovesick woman would do while waiting for her stricken beau to return home: calling tricks over to the house, getting high and selling drugs.

Upon Matthew's return, he spent an afternoon on the phone with every distant acquaintance trying to borrow money. His only success that day was a guy who barely remembered Matthew, in Waconia, way the hell out on highway 5, who was willing to write a check for ten dollars. Matthew drove the shitty red pickup truck out there even though it was Sunday and the banks were closed.

Shortly after this call from mom, Matthew robbed a bank and was quickly taken into custody by the FBI, plucked from The Sherbrooke on a snowy Minneapolis morning. I was there. It was cool.

German Engrish.

Not to undermine my sincere good feelings toward the omnipresent Japanese non sequitur (wait, let's try that again), but damned if the Germans aren't giving them a run for their money. German tech company TrekStor has a line of MP3 players called iBeat, which comes in various colors. TrekStor's naming convention has been: iBeat Pink, iBeat Gold etc.

This summer, when it came time for TrekStor to dub its darkest of colors, things went terribly wrong. The "iBeat Blaxx" with it's astonishing name, caused quite a ruckus on the tech blogs and elsewhere. TrekStor said "our bad" and shortened the name to Blaxx (minus the iBeat moniker), but went on to name a special edition MP3 player the "iBeat Dieter Bohlen." I guess they didn't quite understand the mechanics of their grammatical mistake.

On a related note, I happen to own the TrekStor "Vibez" (a name not quite as embarrassing) and when I stopped into J&R to buy the neoprene carrying case (more of a sleeve really), also made by TrekStor, I received a delightful little surprise. The name of the sleeve? The "Vibez Skin Bag!" Not to be confused with the "Vibez Stretch Bag" of course.

Ken Create Part 2: The Press Pack.

Click for Entire Press Pack

This is for all the haters who think Ken is the Andy Kaufman of the 21st Century. Allow me to repeat what I told you in the first Ken Create post: Ken's "routine" is NOT ironic. Not intentionally anyway. Above are the documents comprising Ken's 'press pack.'

Teaser?

Here, is a couple of pictures to pass around. Thanks- Ken Create.
I'm also, working on a new Bio-- also, playing the key boards-- for my act.

Nick, The Lights you see at the end of the video, was-- Two color changes, since then my friends company-- has made green, blue, white, -- and a mix of colors, that I now use in my show! 6 lights altogether
Ken Create

TELEPHONE NUMBER
973-595-7359

Don't miss the list of every show Ken's ever put on, including the Nursing Home section. Below is the full, unedited, 12-minute Ken Create reel as it appeared on the VHS tape Ken sent to me as part of the press pack.

Oh, and if you don't have the back story on Ken, get it here.

Young Professional Seeks Shitty, Expensive Room.

About a year ago, I was faced with finding a replacement renter for the room I was occupying on Powers Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. This wasn't hip Williamsburg; Powers at Graham Avenue was Italian to the bone and rumored to have a sizable mafia presence. After all, this was the neighborhood portrayed in Donnie Brasco where the Bonanno crime family achieved infamy in the early 70's.

The room cost $1,000/month and was in a free-standing former auto garage (a.k.a. loft), accessible by a monstrous roll-up door. The interior was dark and dirty. The furniture was dilapidated and matted with food and bong-water stains. There was no bathroom, only an enclosed toilet and a separate shower whose moldy curtain opened directly to the kitchen. The kitchen was unique in that it was the only room in the whole building with a window. My room was made of sonically-transparent Sheetrock partition walls.

There were three other roommates, all guys in their early 30's: a grade school teacher, a social worker and a graphic designer. The latter was obsessed with KISS. He had KISS comic books, KISS fridge magnets, an elaborate toy KISS music stage with poseable KISS action figures, etc.

My first night in the loft I took my dog out for a walk and on the way out of the apartment, I passed through the "living room" (the old automotive service bay) where the KISS roommate was on one of the stained couches watching a Japanese KISS concert DVD with a large pizza to himself. I went for a rather long walk and ended up spending an hour or two at Barcade before heading home. When I got back, the KISS roommate was in the same position on the couch, in a cloud of pot smoke, having finished off his pizza, and seemed to be watching the same interminable Ace Frehley guitar solo as when I left.

Oh yeah, and the roommates were all in this weird funk band. And they used to be in this other weird funk band.

Anyway, I posted an ad on Craigslist for my room and received a flurry of responses. In another city, you'd expect only weirdos to get excited about this apartment, and those weirdos probably wouldn't be looking to drop $1,000/month. But, in New York City, here's what I got:

I saw your post on Craigslist. Sounds like a pretty cool place.

I'm a 28 year old straight male. I work at a production company that focuses on stand up comedy for television and live venues, and I'm also a comedy writer. Also involved in making comedy short films, improv, etc., although that has nothing to do with work.

I'm a very laid back, friendly guy, neat, clean, etc.

A little bit more about me:

Favorite Movies: Bottle Rocket, Annie Hall, Sunset Boulevard, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Player, True Romance, Wet Hot American Summer

TV: Real Time with Bill Maher, Daily Show with John Stewart, Colbert Report, The Office, and I loved Arrested Development when it was on.

Books: Fitzgerald, Hunter S. Thompson, Amis, Evelyn Waugh, Douglas Adams

I went to University of Southern California film school and University of Vermont.

So...let me know if you'd like to set up at appointment for me to come by.

More just like this came by the hour...

Hi, I would love to meet you/ see the apartment.
My name is Ryan, I’m 24, and recently moved from Montreal.
I work in Manhattan full time as an event planner. I am creative, outgoing, respectful and clean. Love music (play the guitar), movies, and food (I am an excellent cook!). Overall, an awesome guy to hang out with/ share a common space.

Ryan

xxxx & Company
Luxury Marketing
xx Madison Avenue, 16th Floor
New York, NY 10016

The responses came for days.

I am a 28 yr old female with a small non barking bulldog. I work some days modeling and some nights bartending. This apt sounds really great 4 me so if you are interested in showing your apt please send me an email or giving me a call at 917 xxx 8948-Christie
________________________

Im leaving for virgin islands from 9-13th – could I come and see the space/meet you guys soon? I’m 27, female, like living with guys, love music – day job on 49th and park, starting two companies and love to sing. Laid back. You all sound cool…ok, you can reach me here anytime. Yours, Kristin
________________________

your place sounds fun. My name is Dave. i am 22 years
old. i curently work at a small company that builds
custom bicycles (brooklyn Machine Works). I do well, so making rent
won't be an issue.

i ride my bike everywhere, occasionally on adventures
and sometimes with no hands - to show off. i spend sometime at my
girlfriends place. but am looking for a home of my own. i'm sociable,
neat, and i have a passion for the dishes.

anyways i'd love to see the place some time this week.
i'm available in the evenings during the week and all
day on the weekends.

thanks
david
________________________

Hi,
The place sounds really nice, I would love to check it out if it is
still available. My name is John and I'm a singing/songwriting, painting,
photographer. I'm active and open minded. I have a lot of experience
living with new people and am clean, respectful, considerate, and
responsible. That equals good roommate. Right now I'm pretty focused
on art and paying the rent. I work at a photostudio and am interning in
the photography department at Saturday night live. Please let me know if i
can check out the room. Thanks a lot,

John
________________________

Hi, my name is Michelle. I'm a 25 yo female living in Boston. I went to school here for Graphic Design, and I recently got a job at Saatchi & Saatchi, thus the reason why I'm moving to NY and looking for an apartment.

About me: I'm very laid back, like to work out, go out, but I also work full and part time so I don't expect to be home a lot. Non smoker, straight, looking for a nice apartment and a nice roommate that I can get along with. I'm looking to move in on the first of January, or hopefully a couple of days before. My phone number is 857.xxx.9270.

Let me know if you're interested. Your apartment seems like a good place. Do you have any pictures of the apartment? I'll be in NY on Sunday so hopefully I can come by on Monday to see the room.

I look forward in hearing back from you.
________________________

Hi!
Your apartment sounds great and exactly what I'm lookin for. My name
is Fiona, I'm 25 and irish and I'm a graphic designer for Victoria's
Secret. I've been living in Brooklyn for almost 2 years now but still
haven;t found that place where i can feel settled and really enjoy my
home. I love to cycle, sew, paint, listen to music, take funny
pictures and go to shows with friends.
I'm looking for roomates who are passionate about what they do but
chilled and easy to gel with. I feel like I'm easy to get on with but
if you think I'd fit the bill maybe you can call me to meet up
properly...
Hope to hear from you soon!
Cheers
fi
________________________

Hi,
My name is Ed.

My girlfriend and I are looking for a place to live soon as she starts her job in Jan......

We are both in our mid 20's, musicians, and visual artists. (im the serious musician dabbling in bent/hacked video and shes a professional photographer whos been playing horns since childhood)

We are relaxed, responsible roommates in a !drama-free! relationship with lots of different references to back up these claims.

She just graduated from a fancy liberal arts school (Bard, upstate) and i will be going back to school and working part time (rent covered with the help of financial aid).

We are both busy individuals and will be out alot. any long weekend/break from school ill most likely be touring...(more so after feb.)....

i lived and worked in brooklyn for 3 years before moving into her dorm last fall and then we landed a sweet renovate-4-rent deal....

im a decent carpenter and electrician (not liscenced though)

hopefully we could suspend any aversion to moving two peoples into the room (if there is any) long enough, to actually talk over things as we are flexible people....

I could come by tues (the 5th) in the morning;early afternoon but have to leave for a gig at vassar college later on,,,,,
if that works for y'all so ring us anytime day or night (646) xxx 9661
or just write....

cheers
ed and lea
________________________

Hi there,

My name is Donna and I have just moved out of an apartment just off of Montrose Ave (Scholes St.). I am looking for something in the area as although its not the heart of Manhattan it is very easy to get to the city.

I am 29 and originally from London but moved from San Francisco two months ago where I was working in theater production for 15 months.
I work off of Wall St. for a real estate brokers but have just finished an MA in Arts Management and would like to be a writer. I am due to take a evening writing course in the New Year.

I am really easy to get along with, clean, respectful and love go out and be social at the weekends, especially in the city or in and around Bedford Ave. I work long hours in the week though, so love the idea of a chilled living situation too.

I always have a good relationship with all my roommates - in fact I moved to New York with my former roommate from San Francisco. He lives a few blocks from me and I am staying with him until I find somewhere.

My interests include music, painting, reading, writing. I am also a bit of a gym rat, so love to work out, bike ride, that kind of thing. I love to cook also and usually do a big cook up at least once a week.

Anyway, if you feel I may be what you are looking for please give me a call on 347 xxx 3347 or shoot me an email at this address.

Thanks for your consideration!

Donna
________________________

Hello Nick,

I'm a 26 year old male publicist who currently resides in Williamsburg. I'd be thrilled to come check out the place sometime.

I've lived in New York my entire life. My work deals mainly with books, however I also represent a charity, as well as some music acts. I also love to cook, and I'm rather good at it (pardon the immodesty)

I'm a total news addict, and I tend to read way too many newspapers, magazines, and books. I also have a really big tv.

I'm also very clean, and my bills are always paid on time. I do like to party on the weekends.

I'm looking for house mates that I can hang out with once in a while, have a meal or some drinks with.

I have references.

You can check out my myspace profile if you'd like.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Best,
Peter
________________________

Hi Nick,
I saw your posting on craigslist and I am so excited about your apartment! My best friend and I want to move in to a place together and we were thinking of splitting the room. We both travel a lot so we wouldn't be their all the time. She and I work at a coffee shop, and she and I work opposite shifts so we would rarely be their at the same time.We are both artists and your apartment sounds perfect, I'd love to come see it. We are both really nice and friendly girls and I hope you consider us. Here is my number please feel free to call with any questions.
646-xxx-6287.
All the best,
Aisling

I remember thinking how strange and depressing it was that all these seemingly interesting, fun-loving and successful people weren't able to do better than that rotten $1,000 room. But New York is like that. You sacrifice everything just to be there. That apartment was my best option at the time and I too was thrilled to get into it.

Wheel's on Fire.

You see stuff like this every day in New York. Minor human dramas that bring people out of their own worlds for a few seconds. Here in the Financial District, where Whitehall Street becomes Broadway just below "The Bull," we see a kebab cart fire, stoked by heavy winds.

I loved that people slowed down or even stopped to look at each other, sharing the experience, if only for a second, in what is surely NYC's busiest few blocks. In typical New Yorker fashion, a few even got involved: the guy in the white T-shirt who stamps out the flaming kebabs; the big guy in the shirt and tie who "supervised" the scene; the newspaper vendor who kept his eye on the kebab man's wind-swept cap.

To a tourist, it might look the opposite. It might look like people rushing by and not caring. Not picking up the cap. Not talking to the kebab man. When you live in New York for a while, you start to see the subtle humanity.

Buenos Aires 2006.

CLICK FOR FULL-SIZE SLIDESHOW.

I took these photos during a 10-day trip to Buenos Aires in February, 2006.

Cartoon Therapy.

At the peak of my depression, about two years ago, I felt like my psychotherapy and drugs weren't working at all. I was self-medicating with booze, food, sleep, web surfing and spending money I didn't have. Even so, I still felt like shit all the time. I had the idea one day that I'd draw cartoons to make myself feel better, and it worked-- but only while I was drawing them. Afterward it just made me sad to look at them. I was so at odds with the world that just going through the motions of living wore me out.

That year I was constantly broke and had collectors after me. My stepmother had recently died of cancer leaving my two teenage sisters without a mother. I was badly injured after being beaten up on a visit to Argentina so I was limping around on crutches. I was fired from my job without warning. I was getting divorced and secretly spending nights at work. My new puppy was very sick. I was 70 pounds overweight.

It seemed like everyone in NYC was prospering and loving life except for me. Everyone had more money, was in better shape, had better relationships, was better looking, more talented, and more accomplished. I found enjoyment nowhere and was constantly getting into altercations with strangers on the street.

The Dynamic Shows Ever Bein' Gave.

I got into the cult of 'J&H Productions Guy' a few years ago and I feel it's mandatory listening for all. There's a pretty good site devoted to J&H so I won't get too in-depth. However I will take a moment to identify these audio clips as symbolic of the type of thing that keeps me going spiritually.

I was walking with my friend Michael down Hudson Street in TriBeCa on a lunch break a couple of summers ago when he had a mini-epiphany: a common thread running through all of his friendships was an appreciation of the absurd. I felt the same, but I think it goes deeper than we realized that day.

I think what links Michael to me, etc., is not just an appreciation of the absurdity of human nature but also a deep, unequivocal acceptance and appreciation for its place in the world and for the people (and animals) who embody it. Even when the joke's on us. It's how I lived through the past several years of depression.

It's in this spirit that I present J&H Productions Guy: wonderfully deluded, perhaps clinically, yet with a true zest for life!

J&H Productions: (part 1) (part 2)

Sample quote:

"I would like for a respond to J&H Productions pertaining to these shows that will be giving inside and outside as for as the coliseums that he gave you a picture of on the paper, and he would like for J&H Productions and the labels to give shows together in these places."

Afro Ninja.

Afro Ninja: "Humh."
*Backflip goes terribly wrong.*
*Afro Ninja attempts graceful segue into nunchucks*
Woman 1: (off camera) Oh my god are you OK?
Woman 2: (off camera) "No. He's not."
Afro Ninja: No, I'm ok.
Woman 1: Are you sure?
Afro Ninja: "Yeah, I'm aiight."
Man with Fresh Braidz: "Sit down, sit down, stay down, don't try to stand up."
Afro Ninja: "Sorry."

Subaru Lesbians.

In early 1990, my mom's best friend bought a brand new Subaru Legacy station wagon. She had short hair and a golden retriever. I just got my driver's permit a few months before and Nancy was cool enough to offer me the keys for a spin around my shitty hometown of Concord, California. When she pulled into the driveway I ran out only to be face-raked: the Subaru had a stick-shift. Oh well.

Subaru-driving lesbians proliferated throughout the 90's and into this decade, and I started to wonder what it was about lesbians that compelled them drive these cars. It started to bother me. Was the Subaru an advertisement of sexual disposition or a subconscious coincidence?

I wondered the same about short hair and comfy shoes, golf clubs, high-waisted jeans, big dogs, polar fleece and precious acoustic music. Having lived in the lesbian-havens of Minneapolis, Seattle and now Portland, Maine1, I've felt like these cues are heavy-handed subtexts: passive-aggressive and, well, offensive.2 Moreover, a notion of wagon-circling, if you will, is implied, equivalent to pickup-truck ownership being mandatory suburban-macho accoutrement. I get that this perceived cliquishness may all just be a backlash to repression, but still...

Recently, this Washington Post article from back in 2000 made me realize that there is no subtext afoot:

"Coincidentally or not, the Subaru-lesbian connection seems to have spread throughout the car-buying lesbian community. 'We call [Subarus] Lesbarus,' said Pam Derderian, CEO and principal partner of Do Tell Inc., a gay niche marketing firm that created the Rainbow Card program."

(Subaru was a founding sponsor of the Rainbow Endowment, whose Visa Rainbow Card has raised more than $1.5 million for health, civil rights and cultural causes.)

I found more clarification here, where I was surprised to read as the opening line of Subaru president Rick Lociano's annual address to his dealers in 2004:

"O Forester! O Forester! It is as if thou hast dropped from heaven itself onto the Island of Lesbos!"

Further, the entire keynote was campy to the max:

"A crack team of psychoanalysts worked non-stop with top-tier engineers to design a body shape that breathes 'rugged utilitarian frumpiness' while avoiding the obvious pitfalls of what I call 'overphalluscizing'. In a stroke of genius, one of my junior marketing execs suggested that dealers add a deluxe dog cage at no extra charge. And we did it all at a price that even a substitute P.E. teacher can afford.

Then there were the Subaru print ads with taglines like: "Get Out. And Stay Out.", "It's Not a Choice. It's the Way We're Built." and the most provocative: "Likes to be Driven Hard and Put Away Wet."

Ironically, now that I know the Lesbaru phenomenon is merely the result of willful marketing, it seems less nefarious and even a little bit light-hearted. See? Writing can be therapeutic.

End Notes:

1. My girlfriend insists that the majority of Subaru-driving women here in Portland are not gay, but rather "rugged New Englanders" who happen to also wear polar fleece, LHBs, and high-waisted jeans. Let's just say it's probably no coincidence that there is a history of L.L. Bean Edition Subarus. Bonus factoid: L.L.Bean has a Subaru Edition women's 'fitness fleece' pullover!
2. In the way I seem to be offended by other 1-way communications like bumper stickers and these fucking hats.
   

Irony Kilt the Seatards.

Utilikilts were the bane of my existence when I lived in Seattle. I swear to motherfucking god these things actually exist, and in numbers. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on such an easy target. But man did they PISS ME OFF!

I had to laugh at this guy's page (entitled "Utilikilts are Stupid and Dumb"), which shows several photos of Utilikilts in the wild. If you think the official photo (above) is cringe-worthy, you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Oh, and the best quote from that site I just linked to?

"If you ever see someone wearing a Utilikilt, do what I do and make him feel as shitty as possible."

Adventures of the B77 Bus.

The B77 winds through the Brooklyn neighborhoods of Red Hook and Park Slope. Along the way, it crosses the Gowanus Canal, you know, where the mob has been dumping bodies for around a century. On my way to work, the bus got stuck when the Gowanus started to overflow into 9th street

At around 45 seconds into the video, you can see the bus driver next to me, having abandoned his post, high and dry in the raised back section of the flooding bus. He said nothing to anyone the whole time. The passengers were interacting, however; one of those rare, beautiful moments of New Yorker camaraderie.

Ken Create.

CLICK TO PLAY VIDEO
For better or for worse, I’m responsible for Ken Create’s fame. A friend in my office was sent this video. He passed it around the office and I uploaded it to iFilm and VH1 selected him for their viral video Web Junk 20 TV show. The host was pretty harsh.

Contrary to popular belief, the tape is not old (2002). Or ironic. This video is also on archive.org where Ken himself comments:

I am Ken Create and welcome to my world of modern dance> I'm glad you like the video. If you would like to order one, or to just contact me you can do so directly. My phone number is *82(973)595-7359. I live in Paterson, NJ and the video was shot by the folks at Innovative Marketing, located in Wyckoff, NJ By Bill Hennessey.

If you would like more information, please contact Justin Style @ (201) 444-6267

I called the number and spoke to Ken, who said he found out about his bizarre fame when a friend called demanding he switch on VH1. To my surprise, Ken's thick Jersey accent and poor grammar were as intense as in the video and he betrayed not an ounce of irony. He earnestly explained that the phone number in the video was for an old cell phone that was stolen from his car and that he hopes people will find his new phone number in the archive.org comments.

I didn't let on that I helped to give him his little boost. Instead I mentioned that we might need his services for an office party. He quickly sent me a "press pack" free of charge, though initially he wanted $20. It included an 8x10 glossy signed photo, his full video reel on a VHS tape, and, for some reason, a complete listing of every Ken Create performance ever. The list dates back to the 80's and includes a special section for Ken's nursing home performances.

I go back and forth about whether I was cruel to Ken. Regardless, I'll be happy to scan and post Ken's press pack and full reel if there's interest.

SEE: KEN CREATE PART 2

Holy Christ.

"Reverend X" is perhaps the greatest potty-mouthed preacher I've ever seen.